Tuesday, November 21, 2006
ITS BEEN A LONG LONG TIME..
hello..all i can say is that i'm not really a blog person.I prefer talking and really telling you the details one by one instead of typing it out.
But there are sometimes that a blog does help me release whatever i have inside and i find it hard to say or feel that I can't seem to find anyone to talk to.
i have many many things to say but i guess its better to cut everything short.for now at least..
Many many things have happened to me since i finished my exams had problems had happy moments and sad moments angry moments and many many more times where I can't even tell how I'm feeling.
I've had problems accepting one person or another be it how your family does things or your friends all of these are apart of this. I like to have things my way a lot of times and when I get proved wrong i dislike it, but sometimes you just have got nothing else to say. I'm lost at where I am going but the light just shines and tells me to move on. That's God's work I'm telling you.
Many a times I have wanted to give up on many things. Netball one of them and many things too.
Why? you would ask i guess..because i feel that I do not actually belong there and you would go but you've been there for 4 years already? And all I can say its all me just me.
Everything is tough its just a matter of how you look at it.
Now, all i can say is that I'm still in netball and if i continue to remain I have a long long way more, so much more and that might just make me feel worse..but there's a force pushing me towards working hard for everything though its tough. I have a calling I feel that comes from God that tells me all these I have given to you, just do it for me and put your best in it.
I've felt tired so many times but that strength just carries me through and God just tells me..push on.
I feel like I am made to go on missions with a heart that said when you are old enough and when you know that I want you to go then go. How easy would it be for you to let go of everything?
Looking at how i had lived my life since secondary one and how loose i have been with God but that strength has been with me and it just remains, waiting for me to use it.
I hope that you do feel what I'm trying to say. If you are a non-christian, yet to say yes to God and Jesus then i guess you might ask where does that energy come from within? Or how come i never felt it? I guess you need to start asking many many more questions to find out huh? maybe your christian friend can help or maybe you just need to utter a pray to God.
If you are a christian then i hope you're not like me, that you use the strength given to you wisely and not look as if you're half dead but you're still half alive and still able to live.=D
this is my life that i find so hard to understand but yet a force in me from God just pushes me to go on though i don't understand.I PRESS ON TOWARDS THE GOAL THAT GOD HAS SET FOR ME. Hopefully i can keep this goal alive and press on towards a Christ-like life.